Monday 2nd June - Sunday 8th June Epsom

Epsom was a strange place to be this week. I'm not talking about the near MILLION people who descend upon my sacred training ground on Epsom Downs for the Derby. Nor am I talking about the weird and wonderful gypsies that come with their fair ground for the week. It was the odd goings on I experienced when frequenting the other green spaces of Epsom whilst the Downs were out of bounds.
On Monday I drove to a quiet car park on Epsom Common. I arrived to see half a dozen burly men stood in a group. They heads turned as one as they watched me drive past. I drove to the opposite side of the car park! It was quite a hot day but they were all dressed in big black leather jackets, black trousers and most sinisterly black gloves! I feared for my life but not wanting to look like a wimp I got out of my car and put my kit on. Why I would care what six massively butch strangers thought of me I don't know! Two of the dodgy geezers sat on the bonnet of an old BMW, a very gangster car, and started talking to a guy sat in an old beaten up Ford who I'd not even noticed. I thought I was done for and the shotguns, bombs, knives or fists were going to come my way! My only hope was to leg it, something I'm quite well suited for! As I ran off, no pit bulls were released in pursuit of the key witness to what was surely to be the start of Epsom's biggest ever crime! My mind played tricks on me the whole way round my training run, which I had decided to take my time over, hoping the badddies would be gone by the time I had finished. I fantasized about them putting a bomb under my car and this thought stayed with me for the whole 40 minutes of my run. Would it go off when I opened my car, started the ignition, or when I reached 30, 40, 50 miles an hour! To add to my paranoia, I didn't see another living sole. I normally see loads of fellow runners, dog walkers or cyclists, but not a single one today. Had everyone heard that the Epsom gangsters would be on the common and that the park was the place to go today? Due to my fitness coming back thick and fast I actually got round five minutes quicker than I'd anticipated and for once I was annoyed to have run so well! I feared I might catch the end of the ensuing gang violence all because I'm now beginning to run well! To my huge relief the bad guys had gone and I finally saw another human being, on old boy eating his sandwich by the millpond - not a threat I felt! So I drove home having checked for the bomb and am pleased to report no crime wave hit Epsom or the surrounding area that day!
Tuesday brought about very weird event number two. I chose Horton Park today. No Gypsies or gangsters I hoped. The run went well and was event free. The strange happenings started when I went to use the loo. As I got closer to the toilet, which is miles from anywhere, I could here singing. It wasn't just someone humming a tune whilst having a wee, it was someone belting out opera at the top of their voice! Again I decided not to be a wimp and to keep going, the fact I was desperate aided my decision! The noise was incredible, and was reverberating around like a loud hailer. I took a deep breath and walked in. The noise nearly took my head off and after my experience yesterday, thoughts of becoming the latest victim of the opera singing mad-axe murderer entered my head! What greeted me was a quite embarrassed, middle-aged man, who apologised profusely. I told him to carry on, which he didn't. As I stood there what I'd seen suddenly sank in. Yes it was a middle aged man, yes he was singing opera in a toilet, a bit odd I know, but I believe toilet acoustics are second to none, but he was in fact dressed up like a 17th century gentleman! Breeches, ruffle collared shirt, slicked back hair, buckled shoes and stockings! I quickly ran back out to see where he was and what he was doing but there was no sign of him. He'd vanished! I looked around for signs of an open air and slightly off-season performance of a Dick Whittington pantomime but there was nothing and the nearest theatre was nigh on ten miles away. The only sensible conclusion I could draw was that there was a time space continuum present in the gent’s toilet in Horton Country Park!
The rest of the week was something of a blur as I struggled to come to terms with these life-altering events. I remember doing my first track session in Kingston with my new group. It went well I seem to remember. I recall that not always being at the front of the group, pushing the pace, consumed by the effort of ensuring the lap pace targets were met, was a breath of fresh air. As I regain my fitness it was great just to sit at the back of the group and be pulled round. All I had to worry about was me and my running. I knew the guys at the front would make sure we were running at the right pace, all I had to do was keep up. Which I just about did!
With my first tentative step back into competition on Saturday the rest of the week was easy running, and a relaxed ten- minute tempo run on Thursday. It left my legs feeling relaxed and full of energy and ready to roll on Saturday, even if my head was anything but after the near death experiences of the beginning of the week!